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I’m awake again, but still tired.
It’s going to be an easy week for me.
I don’t have to work today untul 17h30, and my class is going out for dinner to celebrate Christmas (since I won’t be here next week). I have a second class at 19h10. Tomorrow, I have a full morning/early afternoon and two evening classes, the first of which is going out for dinner. Wednesday is the same as Tuesday. Due to exams, I only have one class on Thursday and one class on Friday, after which I catch the train out of here to start my holiday.
I’ve been chatting for a couple hours now, but am tired again so I’m going back to bed.
I’m up. I went to bed at 21h last night because I was exhausted. What should I do now?
The Philadelphia Inquirer
Seeking a motto for the real Pa.
Mon, Nov. 24, 2003
By John Grogan
My fellow Pennsylvanians. Duty calls us to the service of our state.
Our governor has issued a rallying cry. He needs our help in coming up with a punchy tourism slogan.
Gov. Rendell believes the old slogan, “Memories Last a Lifetime,” just isn’t cutting it. And I’m with him. No kidding, memories last a lifetime. So does scar tissue.
It’s not exactly “I love New York.”
What we need is a motto with moxie. The challenge is to put a happy face on this great but – let’s be honest here – challenged state of ours. Something that will persuade travelers to spend their vacation dollars in, say, Phoenixville instead of Phoenix, Scranton instead of Santa Fe.
No one said this would be easy.
The governor feels there’s no one better to dream up the perfect motto than the people who experience the wonders of our state on a daily basis.
Our mission is to find those magic words that will spark the imagination, inflame the senses, inspire hidden passions. You know, something like: “Pennsylvania: Where the Rust Belt meets the Slate Belt.”
The governor launched the competition last week, and the winning sloganeer will receive a free weeklong vacation anywhere in the state. (Hooey! Erie, here we come!). All the details are at www.visitpa.com.
Eat like a politician
I’m so excited about the possibilities, I’ve decided to launch my own contest, complete with a $100 gift certificate to a fine restaurant so our winner can eat like a real politician.
Just like in the governor’s contest, I’m looking for jingles that are “short, sweet and uniquely Pennsylvania.” And as I’m sure the governor will be, I’m looking for entries that candidly celebrate this incredible commonwealth, blemishes and all. (“Ask us about our Superfund sites!”)
To get your creative juices flowing, I’ve dug up a few heroic attempts at mottos from other states.
Alaska: “11,623 Eskimos can’t be wrong!”
Tennessee: “The edukashun state.”
And my personal favorite, Alabama: “Hell yes we got electricity!”
Am I getting you warmed up?
The secret is to take something that’s not too great and make it sound appealing. For instance, the listening device found in Mayor Street’s office last month made national news. With the right spin, even ugly allegations of municipal corruption can lure the tourists. Something like: “Listen in on Philadelphia – 300 FBI agents can’t be wrong.”
Or: “Pay a little, play a lot!”
The winning slogan could embrace our public transportation network (“Start your morning late with SEPTA!”), its highways (“Idle your day away!”), or our famously friendly people (“Pennsylvania: You gotta problem with dat?”).
The great outdoors
It could celebrate our great outdoors culture (“Where ‘hunter orange’ is not just a color but a state of mind”), our Pennsylvania Dutch roots (“Youse wants gravy on that?”), or our feisty professionals (“Say hello to our ticked-off doctors”).
There’s always our large, active elderly population (“We’ve fallen for Pennsylvania – AND WE CAN’T GET UP!”) and our ample supply of rustic country properties (“Pull up a trailer and stay awhile!”).
The slogan could tout our proximity to nearby attractions (“Just across the river from Camden!”), our enlightened blue laws (“Drink by the case – it’s the law!”), or our new love of gambling revenue (“In slots we trust”).
So grab a pencil and get going, Pennsylvania sloganeers. Send your entries – as many as you like – to me at the e-mail address or phone number below. And don’t forget to include your full name, address and phone number.
My esteemed panel of judges (OK, that would be Marley the deaf Labrador retriever and me) will choose the best of the best for publication.
As I mentioned, the first-place winner will receive a $100 gift certificate to none other than La Veranda Ristorante in Center City, where our esteemed State Sen. Vincent Fumo charged $73,000 in meals to taxpayers over a two-year period. And that just might inspire a few slogan possibilities all its own.
The Philadelphia Inquirer
Pa.: The land of 1,000 slogans
Mon, Dec. 01, 2003
By John Grogan
Boy, I’m impressed. When it comes to churning out inspirational state slogans, you guys are as prolific as a herd of Pennsylvania deer.
Last week, I issued the call to duty on behalf of Gov. Rendell, who needs our help coming up with the perfect tourism slogan – something that puts a cheery gloss on this great state of ours, warts and all.
And, patriots that you are, you delivered in a big way. My eyes are bleary. My brain is numb. At last count, I had received more than 500 slogans – from as far away as England.
I laughed. I cried. I groaned. And the best news of all: Several of them can actually be published in the newspaper. One of the more genteel ones came from Mark Saxton of Bristol: “Pennsylvania: E-ZPass my ass!”
That’s the spirit, Mark. Pure poetry.
But perhaps none touched my heart like this sentimental rhapsody from a group of office workers who requested anonymity because their boss wouldn’t understand them performing their civic duty on company time: “Pennsylvania – Hey, WHAT THE #@$%?”
I ask you, does public service get any finer than this?
Many of you focused your talents on the state of our elite road system.
“Our potholes are forever,” Frank Przyborowski of Collegeville gushed. “Drive our roads – if you dare!” wrote Linda Weir Kerper of Jeffersonville.
In trash we trust
The state’s abundance of other people’s garbage was another hot topic.
From Bruce Flannery of Exton: “We refuse no refuse.” And from Tim Lynch of Philadelphia: “Pennsylvania: A great place for your landfill!”
Others clearly were struggling to find a best foot to put forward, as evidenced by this glowing endorsement from Robert Rush of New Hope: “Pennsylvania: Almost a rectangle.”
More high praise came from Michael McGonigle, who works at the Philadelphia Museum of Art: “Cooler than Georgia!” Marc Goldwein of Merion had another southern state in mind: “Just like Alabama, but with cities!”
And ice storms, too, Marc!
Phil Sheridan of Philadelphia focused his tourism campaign on the state’s vibrant nightlife: “Bring your PJ’s – there’s nothin’ else to do.”
Scott Hower of Malvern similarly embraced the leisurely pace: “Where every day seems like a lifetime.”
Alan Cooper of Hawley, a town in the Poconos, celebrated the state’s untamed wildlife – of both the four- and two-legged varieties: “Where the deer and the misanthropes play.”
Many figured the best way to boost Pennsylvania was to bash its neighbors. New Jersey took the worst beating, although no border state was spared.
Frank Citera of Ambler put a Philly twist on the popular “I love New York” motto: “We loathe New York!”
Dave Emmi of Havertown, on the other hand, gave credit where credit was due: “Pennsylvania: A lot like New York without all the good stuff.”
Gas of many kinds
And Ken Konopka of Horsham couldn’t resist steering tourists in the right direction: “Cheap gas and booze right across the river.”
But Lowell Munson of Doylestown trumpeted at least one homegrown bargain: “The Keystone State: Our radon is free!” Another local source of gaseous emissions inspired one contestant to write: “We’ve got Arlen Specter, so IN YOUR FACE, OHIO!”
Our state’s communist-style liquor-control monopoly inspired a Delaware resident to pen: “Welcome to the People’s Republic of Pennsylvania.”
Along those lines, Tom Davidson of Blue Bell offered: “We keep our crooks in and your liquor out!” On a more upbeat note, Naomi Rothenberg of Edgmont wrote: “From Amish to zoos, this Pennsylvania’s for youse.”
Are you guys brilliant or what? The governor will just adore these.
And we’re only getting warmed up. Coming tomorrow: the final countdown to our winner, who will receive a $100 gift certificate to Sen. Vince Fumo’s favorite restaurant, La Veranda.
For you procrastinators (you know who you are), I am accepting e-mail submissions through noon today.
So quit stalling and answer the call to duty. And if you misplaced your dictionary, just remember the immortal entry of West Chester’s Rich Birkenmaier: “Pennslyvania: We can’t spell it, either.”
The Philadelphia Inquirer
State of slogans: Grinners, winners
Tue, Dec. 02, 2003
By John Grogan
Welcome back to the dramatic conclusion of “Can Someone Please Give This Poor State a Decent Slogan?”
Marley the deaf Labrador retriever and I have been busily wading through your entries, which as of our cutoff yesterday had surpassed 900. (And, yes, he howled at them all.)
You guys are on fire!
The governor will be pleased to learn that at least 13 of them actually found something nice to say, such as this upbeat offering from George Stalle of Moorestown: “On a Clear Day You Can See New Jersey.”
Ken Weidner of Phoenixville took a different approach: “Where You’re Always Upwind from New Jersey!”
“Just a Buggy Ride Away from Ohio,” added Havertown’s John Wayne. Less effusive praise came from Robert Browne, a photographer in Philadelphia: “Pennsylvania: It Doesn’t Suck as Much as You’ve Heard.”
Gee, if that doesn’t woo the tourists, maybe this ditty from F. Cinnie Morgan of Melrose Park will: “We’re Here, Bring Beer, Get Used to It.”
The state’s pivotal role in forming this nation inspired David Newby of Philadelphia to welcome tourists with: “If it Wasn’t for Us, You People Would Be Nothing but Freakin’ Canadians!” And it prompted David Minnich of Media to blow our horn with: “Pennsylvania – We’re History!”
Land of many calories
The state’s hearty regional cuisine inspired Gene Charters of Philadelphia to write: “Land of the cheesesteak, girth of a nation.” Jody Brown of Landenberg put a positive spin on that girth: “We Turn the Food Pyramid Upside Down!” Amy Simms of Philadelphia crowed: “Our Governor Can Eat More Than Yours!”
Doctors and the people who love them couldn’t resist taking their jabs at the state’s malpractice crisis.
“The ‘Sue Me’ State,” Malvern obstetrician Alex Anthopoulos wrote. “Where Lawyers Roam Free and Doctors Flee,” Huntingdon Valley doctor Bruce Genter added. And from Regina King, who works at Paoli Memorial Hospital: “Our Docs Are Getting the Health Outta Here.”
Many entries reminded me that we need to work on our self-esteem. Case in point is Doug Horne of Chadds Ford: “Pennsylvania – At Least Our Hearts Are in the Right Place.” Edward Speiser of Wyncote offered: “Where Santa Gets His Coal.”
But nothing seemed to inspire our contestants more than this state’s legendary public servants. From Ed Ambrogio of Drexel Hill: “Visit the Pennsylvania General Assembly, Where Piggish Perks go to Whiggish Jerks.”
“You Supply the Graft, We Supply the Corruption!” wrote Frank Gaydos, who works at Community College of Philadelphia. John Lawson of Upper Providence Township, Delaware County, bragged: “We Put the PA in Patronage!” From Lloyd Jones: “We Have Met the Enemy, and He Is Elected.”
Drum roll, please…
Now let’s get to our finalists.
Honorable mentions go to: Patrick Jude Kelly of Upper Darby (“Our Budgets Pass Like Kidney Stones”); Frank Przyborowski of Collegeville (“Deep in the Heart of Taxes”); William Palmer of Philadelphia (“Keep Pennsylvania Green – Bring Money!”); Chuck Draus of Doylestown (“Pennsylvania: Not That There’s Anything Wrong with That!”); and Jim Comey of Drexel Hill (“Taste the Drama: Suburban Bliss, Corporate Shifts; City Rot, Petty Despots.”)
Special thanks go to Paul Bradley of Yardley for, “You’ve Got an Irascible, Gun-toting Friend in Pennsylvania.”
Third place goes to Lloyd Conklin of Warminster who, with apologies to New Hampshire, paid homage to Pennsylvania’s most beloved mystery food: “Eat Scrapple or Die!”
Joel Chinitz of Fort Washington captured second place by putting a positive spin on three troublesome aspects of our state – an archaic legal code, a recent hepatitis outbreak traced to scallions, and a deep fiscal crisis. “Visit Colorful Pennsylvania: Blue Laws, Green Onions, Red Ink.”
And now I am proud to announce our winner, who will receive a $100 gift certificate to La Veranda in Philadelphia, the favorite restaurant of the well-fed State Sen. Vince Fumo.
In just five words, our winner captured the entire Keystone experience.
Frances J. Doherty of Wyomissing, take a bow for: “Pennsylvania – Rusted, Disgusted, Almost Busted.”
Swiss 22 heavy has just requested a fire brigate “immediately.” This doesn’t sound good.
The crowds at Times Sqaure have really picked up. Probably because it’s almost matinee time.
Baltimore airport has reopened.
JFK Tower just asked an American Airlines pilot if all American Airlines flights were cancelled for now, and he said that they were.
Germany Doesn't Suck 