You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March, 2008.
I’m back in business with WordPress on my old URL
a religious post (perhaps only of interest to those that know DOS, but the computer saavy of you should be able to figure it out)
GENESIS BY DOS
In the beginning, there was the computer.
And God entered:
C:\Let there be light!
Enter user ID
C:\God
Enter password
C:\Omniscient
Invalid password
Enter password
C:\Omnipotent
Invalid password
Enter password
C:\Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday.
C:\Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command
C:\Create light
Done
C:\Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0
errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday.
C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\Create firmament
Done.
C:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0
errors.
And God logged off at 1:59:00 AM, Tuesday.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday.
C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
place and let dry land appear
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\Create dry_land
Done.
C:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0
errors.
And God logged off at 4:59:00 AM, Wednesday.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday.
C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the
night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over
the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw
there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 11:59:00 AM, Thursday.
And God logged on at 12:02:00 AM, Friday.
C:\Create fish
Done
C:\Create fowl
Done
C:\Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 8:59:00 AM, Friday.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Saturday.
C:\Create cattle
Done
C:\Create creepy_things
Done
C:\Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create man
Done
C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue
it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of
the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors..
C:\Insert breath
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\Copy woman from man
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\Create desire
Done
C:\Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Create freewill
Done
C:\Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Create tree_of_knowledge
Done
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Create good, evil
Done
C:\Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95.
Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Ctrl_Break
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Ctrl_Break
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Ctrl_Break
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space.
You must delete old files before new ones can be created.
C:\Delete earth
Delete earth: Please confirm.
C:\Delete earth confirmed
And God logged off at 11:59 PM, Saturday.
On Sunday God rested.
On Monday God created the PC.
And God saw that it was good.
Happy Easter, everyone!
but could we postpone Easter?
Last year my bike and I went to Paderborn and did some sightseeing and cycling there and in the area – and ended it by watching the season opener of the Paderborn Untouchables.
This year baseball season doesn’t start til the first weekend of April. So I have a four day weekend with nothing to do. I’m saving up for my Bildungsurlaub, going away for the long weekends in May as well as a four or five day weekend in June, my October holiday and also my extended end of the year trip so, I won’t be spending much money for hotels this weekend other than possibly one night in either Frankfurt or Cologne.
Not to mention the fact that the weather is going to be atrocious – which rules out cycling and other outdoor activities.
For those that don’t know, Good Friday is a public holiday here and we also have Easter Monday off (but I have no idea why). So everything is closed on Friday, open on Saturday and closed on both Sunday and Monday. Not even the castles I haven’t visited will be open (they don’t open til April).
However, if we could move Easter back to the first weekend of April, I’d be able to attend a few baseball games to occupy my time rather being bored into a coma. So, if it’s not too much of an inconvenience, could we do so?
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
Last week we had a businessman call to arrange English lessons for this week, and I was told that I’d be teaching him. No problem, it’s my job. The secretary then told me that the lesson would be at his office in a castle (some are used as commercial space). Great, I thought.
The problem was getting there, since it was an incompany class. Not transportation – we have a few school owned cars that we use for occasions like this – it was finding out exactly where the castle was. We tried Mapquest and GoogleMaps, but neither could pinpoint the location (that turned out to be due to the fact that it ended with a ‘g’ it nobody actually knew how to spell it correctly due to the dialect here – z, sch or ch – nobody thought it ended with a ‘g’).
So the secretary said to me, ‘It’s small a village. Just go there and look for the thing that looks like a castle.’
‘Right,’ I thought. ‘That should be easy. I have a keen eye for castles because I love them.’
As I was driving there yesterday morning, I remembered the conversation I had had with the secretary about looking for ‘the thing that looks like a castle’.
‘There it is! On a hill across the river.’
‘Wait! It isn’t in the village and this one was supposed to be [according to the student].’
So, I got off the bridge and turned right and headed into the village (one of those small German ones with narrow, winding streets) in search of my destination). When I reached the end of the village (3 minutes later), I turned around and headed back into it determined to find ‘the thing that looks like a castle’ (I couldn’t call anyone because I didn’t have any money left on my prepaid cell phone).
There it was – a large complex with a castle and a few other structures, so I pulled in. Unfortunately, the name of the complex didn’t have the German word for castle on it, so I grew uncertain that it was the correct one.
Then I got lucky – I saw people! Most small German villages are completely deserted weekdays and these were the first signs of life I saw, so I walked over to them and asked if this was the castle I was looking for. Then they broke the bad news to me – they didn’t think it was but weren’t certain due to the fact that they weren’t from that area. Despite the county designation being the same as the one of the village, they were from the other end of the county.
I got back in the car and continued in the direction I had come from looking for another ‘thing that looks like a castle’.
Two minutes later, I found a third ‘thing that looks like a castle’, parked, got out and found a small sign verifying that indeed it was my destination.
Perhaps ‘look for the thing that looks like a castle’ works some places but not in my region.
The Mannheim Tornados came up for some Spring Training against the Caps and I decided to attend. I had never seen the Tornados play and thought it’d be a good way to spend the afternoon – not to mention the fact that it was free.
Mannheim’s uniform
The first game was embarrassing, to say the least. The Caps were trying out pitcher I had never seen before (probably from the minor league) – not an uncommon practice during Spring Training – and the result was a loss too large to post.
I almost left.
The second game was better. They had better pitchers – pitchers that deserved to be this league – and to my surprise also changed the entire infield other than the shortstop. The first and basemen are staples on the team so I wasn’t worried about them being replaced – they were probably just trying out backups – and I have to say that both of them played quite well and impressed (unlike the second baseman).
It’s a hit!
Another change this year was the catchers. The Caps are not known for having good catchers. The one I saw the first year that I attended a game (2004) was great, but he was promised a position on the national team if he joined a different team the following year and took up that offer. He rejoined the Caps last year but wasn’t there on Saturday (nor was he listed in the roster in th4 website) so I assume he’s found a better offer again. However, the replacement catcher the used on Saturday did okay. I assume that they’re also trying him out from the minor league, but see a lot of potential in him. He doesn’t appear to be a person switched from another position to attempt to catch – he appears to be a catcher.
The weather was favourable – 13C and sunny until 15h, when the clouds decided that we had had enough and brought their friend the winds with them. There’s a big difference between temperature in the sun as opposed to the clouds and wind, and got cold and was about to leave. However, the Caps were holding their own and I couldn’t – so I stayed for another 90 minutes of my favourite sport.
All in all, a fun afternoon.
Mannheim’s cool van
The List, it’s Shopping Sunday here!
Wooo hooo!
Time to grab my debit card (credit cards are rarely accepted in Germany) and hit the shops!
Yes, I still hate shopping, but something is actually happening on a Sunday here and I’m going to enjoy it (besides, the Irish pub – where I watch football (soccer) – is across Old Town and I have to go through it and by most of the shops anyway).
Taken on 12 January 2008 in Thailand
(Alternate title: Rude people, crappy weather and incompetent companies: This place is getting on my last nerve)
I held practice exams on Monday for our students taking Cambridge exams in June to make sure that the would be signing up for the right level and also to help them to experience Cambridge exams all at once instead of piece by piece like we do in class (the exams are about six hours long). I did it on the first day of the testing session so that we could get them sent back to Cambridge to be electronically graded and the results sent back to us in time for signups next month for the official exams to be held in June. I also spent a couple hours verifying that everything was exactly how Cambridge wanted them so that the notification of the results would not be held up (there’s a very small window between getting the results back and signups).
After I finished all of the above, I sealed the box and had the secretary call DHL and give them the dimensions and weight of the box as they had requested an hour before the deadline they had given us six days prior. The secretary then put the box where anyone of the secretaries could find it so that there would be no question when the DHL person came to pick them up yesterday, as DHL had told us they would do on 11 March the first time we called to request the pickup and also on Monday.
Great, I thought. Everything will be fine – thinking of the .only good experiences I’ve had with express carriers in the US and Poland.
WRONG!!!!!
I walked into the office after my incompany classes late yesterday morning and to my astonishment, the package was still there! I asked the secretary (the same one as yesterday) why and she told me that DHL hadn’t honoured their pickup date (nor had the called to tell us that they couldn’t).
Then I remembered that DHL is owned by Deutsche Post and it all became clear. This is the company that:
1. Once sent a letter to my apartment telling me that they couldn’t send letters to my apartment;
2. I went away for 2 weeks in December 2002 and stopped my mail for 2 weeks by filling in a form they had given me. I came back and went to collect it and was told that I was home too early to collect my mail. I wasn’t due back for another six weeks – they had stopped it for two MONTHS! The woman then told me that I had to pay the fee that had started in Jan 03 for stopping my mail, but I reminded her that I stopped it in 2002 and told her I wasn’t going to pay for it. She them advised me that I’d have to call to the post office across town to get it started again, and I said, ‘I’m not doing ANYTHING! It’s Deutsche Post’s fault and YOU’RE going to resolve this issue for me NOW!’ I had my mail the next day.
What’s the big deal? First of all, they hadn’t followed through with what we had been told twice and wouldn’t even give an explanation! Secondly, this is a SERVICE that is BEING PAID FOR (and it’s not cheap)! Thirdly, I’m tired of companies deciding that I don’t want what I really want. Examples:
1. I want to be back in my town at X time, but Deutsche Bahn decides I want to be back there thirty minutes later.
2. I want DHL to pick up a package on 11 March, but they decide that I really want it picked up on 12 March!
3. LTU decided that I didn’t need my bag when I got to Bangkok on 21 December and flagged it to be delivered after I arrive there for some odd reason (and nobody there knows why – or will admit to knowing why) and brought it on 22 December.
If we compare apples to apples, FEDEX was never anything but completely reliable when I lived in the US. I remember their slogan from yesteryear, ‘When it absolutely has to be there overnight’. It always was when I used them. Even the time I had to get something from Phoenix to Jacksonville by noon the next day. FEDEX picked it up at 20h AZ time (23h FL time) and it was there by 8h FL time (5h AZ time). Well worth the money paid.
Now, thanks to more German incompetence, we might not get the practice exam results back before signups – which cannot be changed after transmitted to Cambridge.
Quite frankly, DHL TOTALLY SUCKS!
(Alternate title: German word for the day)
About a month ago, I found out about a program that allows employees of companies to take paid time off in addition to their holiday entitlement and knew that I had to do that. Research took place and low and behold, I’m just about to book my Bildungsurlaub.
Bildungsurlaub varies from state to state, and in my state one is entitled to this after two years service with their company. The first step is finding what programs are offered and at what time of the year (most states have a website that provides that info) and the final step is getting the time off from your job.
I did it the easy way.
While I would like to have found a course in September, I realised that getting time off then wouldn’t be easy due to my workload at that time of the year, so I chose to request my Bildungsurlaub during summer break – a time when my employer prefers that we take time off. After gathering my info, I presented it to him and he was quite surprised that I had heard of such a program and also that I had found a course that was actually on ‘the list’ on the website and agreed to it. However, it wasn’t easy to find the course.
After deciding what I want to do, I did quite a few internet searches for the type of program I wanted and also included the word Bildungsurlaub. That produced many schools that said they offered what I wanted and were certified to offer that type of program, but when asked for the document needed they weren’t able to produce it. One even had the nerve to tell me that they’d send me the needed document after I registered for and paid for the course. There was no way I was going to do that.
Then I found ‘the list’ on the website. After reading ALL of it, I found what I wanted, contacted the company and got the needed info. The extra time was approved my employer today and I’ll be confirming my tentative booking soon.
I’ll be going to Spain to take a Spanish course for two weeks and then taking four days of regular holiday entitlement to visit Expo 2008.
Even though I’ll be getting paid for the entire time, the first ten days won’t be taken out of my yearly holiday entitlement. I have to pay for my course, accommodation and other expenses, but that doesn’t bother me because I’d have to do so on a normal holiday (vacation) other than the course fees, so that means I won’t be doing much travelling before then. It’ll be worth it, though.
40 paid days off this year.
I like it.
J: ‘Who knows what an envelope is?’
StudentS: ‘It’s an animal.’
* The rest of the class and I look puzzled*
J: ‘An animal?’
S: ‘Yes. Like Bambi, sort of.’
J: ‘Oh, that’s an antelope.’
*Laughter from all*
